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tres—leches:

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Turns out it’s super hard to find recipes for green smoothies without being bombarded with OMG MAGICAL FAERIE GLOW CLEANSE. LOSE WEIGHT. LOOK BETTER. POOP GLITTER. 

I just want to mash a bunch of fruit and veg into a delicious drinkable pulp because it’s yummy and it makes me feel good, I DO NOT NEED YOUR “DETOX” CLEANSE BULLSHIT RHETORIC, THANKS.

“I just want to mash a bunch of fruit and veg into a delicious drinkable pulp because it’s yummy and it makes me feel good”

So do it! That’s pretty much what a green smoothie is and I always thought recipes for them were n’t necessary. Especially if they have whole books devoted to them that you need to buy. It’s really simple, but I will give you some pointers to start with. I’ve been making smoothies for years and they are DO make you feel great!

First, you probably want some kind of creamy base (if you are like me and like them creamy). Bananas are most commonly used because they are cheap, add creaminess, and also sweeten the drink. You’ll want to use ripe spotted bananas for this. You can use them fresh or slice them up and freeze them before hand (if you freeze them before hand, it gives this really nice ice-creamy texture <3). Other soft fruits like avocado and pears are supposedly good bases as well. I love and stick to my bananas.

The general rule for smoothies is 40/60 fruit to veg for a tasty sweet green smoothie. I don’t always follow this because I prefer more fruit in mine. As for what type of veg, I suggest spinach to start. Its’ mild, blends easily, and can be found easily organic, in a bag/box, pre-washed, and ready to go. It gives the drink an light earthy flavor if you add a lot but also blends nicely into the background if you don’t like to taste your veggies. Kale is another of my faves. A tough takes considerably longer to blend though depending on your blender. Obvs if you have a super blender like a Vitamix you laugh in the face of kale. I just have a shitty little Wal-Mart blender but we still get the job done so don’t fret! My blender does everything I need it to do it just takes a little more time. So be patient if your first smoothie seems a bit chunky (or maybe you like that! It’s kinda fun to chew a smoothie I swear). Some other greens you can add are parsley (this is a little spicy and really strong and refreshing), Chard (gives a VERY earthy taste), any kind of lettuce (extremely hydrating, blends well, and adds a fresh flavor), cucumber (great in Summer). So on and so on.

As for the other kind of fruit, anything you want! Mangoes, pineapple, apples, berries, melon, ect.

The next and most important part (if you have a regular old blender like me) is the liquid. You can’t just throw the fruit in and blend. That will kill the blender and nothing good comes of it. You want to be able to do that, gotta get a super blender. I swear I have seen people try this and it’s never pretty. So You can use a number of different liquids. I like to use plain water, but nut milks (or reg milk if you prefer that sort of thing) are yummy too. Yesterday I used this almond/cashew/hazelnut milk blend I found and blended it with blueberries and a dash of water. Blueberry milk y’all! Anyway, you can also use fruit juice like OJ. You can even use tea. Green Tea would be great in a breakfast shake if you do caffeine. Combining liquids works too. OJ is expensive so I use 1/3 OJ for the flavor and the rest if water to make my juice go further. Half vanilla milk half OJ and banana makes and Orange Julius thing so I have been told. Generally I pile all my stuff in the blender then fill the blender with liquid until it’s almost (maybe and inch from) covering the ingredients. Then I blend. If it’s not blending easily, just add more liquid in slow increments till it goes. 

To make them thicker or to chill them if they aren’t cold enough add some ice at the end. You can also store them in the fridge for later. I would drink them within 24 hours of making it though. They keep well, but not THAT well. 

Things to add in are nuts, nut butters, flax or chia seeds (if you like that sort of thing), raw cocao powder, chocolate powder, cinnamon, protein powder, key limes (I like to throw these in whole to tropical drinks. If you don’t want to be crunching little seeds, cut in half, remove seeds, then blend) dates (soak pitted dates at least ten minutes or even up to over night to soften, then add them in your smoothie to sweeten. Gives a nice caramel flavor).

So yeah experiment! I’ll be honest, I haven’t loved every single one I have made but you’ll get the hang of it and learn what you like. If you still want recipes, here’s some I like to make. I never measure, but just to give you an idea:

Banana (1-2), frozen cherries (big handful), splash of OJ, water, big handful of spinach, ice.

Banana (1-2), frozen cherries (big handful), water, 1-2 Tbls raw cacao powder (chocolate powder can also be used)

If anyone wants to talk about smoothies hit me up. :3

omfg you are like a magical smoothie goddess! I am very, very new at this whole thing - I’ve bought my fair share of smoothies but never made them at home, so I totally needed this advice. THANK YOU.